Forgiving
Others
1 Corinthians 13:4-6 in practice
The length
of time to work through the process varies from individual to individual.
If
we don’t deal with the bitterness and resentments, they put us in bondage and limit
the fellowship we are supposed to have with God.
The Myths of Forgiveness – Clearing up the confusion
1. Justifying, understanding or
explaining away someone’s behavior is not the same as forgiveness. It’s part of forgiveness but just
understanding doesn’t mean I forgive.
2. Time does not heal all wounds. Time
can only make things worse if you are holding on to unforgiveness.
3. Forgiveness is not denying that we’ve
been hurt or pretending that the hurt was no big deal. We discussed in the last study about denial
being one of the stages in an unforgiving spirit (chapter 7 – The Gift of
Forgiveness)
4. Forgiving others does not require us
going to others personally and confessing our forgiveness (although there are
times it might be advisable).
Forgiveness is a process. It
starts with understanding our own forgiveness.
1. We are forgiven. Totally Romans 6:10 “For the death that he dies, he
died to sin, once for all; but the life that he lives, he lives to God. Matthew 18:23-34 speaks of the unmerciful
servant. “We have no grounds for
refusing to forgive others”. We were
forgiven a debt that we could never pay.
2. So we then release the other person
from their debt. We bundle up our
hostilities and surrender them to Christ.
3. We accept others as they are and
release them from any responsibility to meet our needs.
4. We view others as tools of growth.
This will deepen our understanding of the grace of God. Remember when Joseph’s brothers sold him into
slavery yet he forgave them? He said “…
You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:19-21).
5. We make reconciliation with those from
whom we have been estranged. This will vary from situation to situation. We must do what we can to restore fellowship
with those who hurt us.
If it happens again…
Remember that forgiveness is an act
of the will. Stand firm on the decision to forgive.
Remember that if forgiveness is for
our benefit, the other person may never change.
Matthew 18:21-22 “70 * 7”.
We know we have forgiven when…
1. Negative feelings will disappear.
2. It’s easier to accept those who hurt
us without feeling the need to change them
3. Our concerns about the needs of those
who hurt us will outweigh our concerns about what they did to us.
After Study Study
Meditate on the parable of the
unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:23-34). How can you apply mercy and forgiveness
in your life?
Watch a modern day interpretation on
YouTube. In the YouTube search, type in:
“Parable of the unforgiving servant” or use this URL: https://youtu.be/n-Dl5dqLz5M
Prep for Next Study:
We will
discuss more about forgiving others. If you have a chance, please read Chapter 9
“Forgiving Ourselves” in the Gift of Forgiveness book