With Mothers' Day just around the corner, I wanted to post on this topic now. I don't like to take away from the joy of Mothers' Day because there are so many wonderful mothers to celebrate. For those of us who have never been able to have children, it can be a difficult day however.
The following is an answer I posted in response to a woman who had asked for prayer that her daughter would have a baby. I am happy to report at this time that the daughter is blissfully in her 2nd trimester:
I will pray for your daughter. We will all believe the best and positively focus on what God can do. However, as someone who for years battled infertility, I do believe that it is important to be prepared that God doesn't give a baby to every woman who asks. People often refer to women of the Bible who asked for children and were granted their wishes. This is wonderful news. God can and will often provide a child. But we live in human bodies that often have frailties, one of which is infertility.
Jesus healed the blind and lame. His followers spoke The Word and many were healed. Today this continues. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But there are still Christians in wheelchairs, Christians who are sightless, etc. And there are still women whose wombs cannot bear children.
I think infertility, maybe even more than many other afflictions, is misunderstood and well-meaning people make remarks that can wound. I know they don't mean to hurt but the effect on someone who is already fragile from the roller coaster of emotions associated with this can be that they think maybe they have fallen short, maybe they don't believe enough or have enough faith. This is rubbish. I know I was there.
If you are reading this and you are one of those people who quotes scripture to women who struggle with infertility, please know that I understand your passion and faith and I know your aren't meaning to be hurtful. But please ask God to give you the silver tongue of redemption to speak what He has for you to speak at the moment. It may be the scriptures, but I would just ask that you ask Him to lead you in expressing your opinions with kindness and encouragement.
As for adoption, there are a lot of things to consider. The first, I believe, is if you are called to adopt. It is a calling. It's not easy as your family already knows.
I used to belong to some online groups that were very supportive and encouraging. I think I still have the addresses. One was a group of Christian women.
There are no easy answers and this is a difficult topic. I just want you to know that my heart understands your daughter's turmoil and I will pray for her in every area - physical, emotional, logistical, etc. ((( )))
The following is an answer I posted in response to a woman who had asked for prayer that her daughter would have a baby. I am happy to report at this time that the daughter is blissfully in her 2nd trimester:
I will pray for your daughter. We will all believe the best and positively focus on what God can do. However, as someone who for years battled infertility, I do believe that it is important to be prepared that God doesn't give a baby to every woman who asks. People often refer to women of the Bible who asked for children and were granted their wishes. This is wonderful news. God can and will often provide a child. But we live in human bodies that often have frailties, one of which is infertility.
Jesus healed the blind and lame. His followers spoke The Word and many were healed. Today this continues. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But there are still Christians in wheelchairs, Christians who are sightless, etc. And there are still women whose wombs cannot bear children.
I think infertility, maybe even more than many other afflictions, is misunderstood and well-meaning people make remarks that can wound. I know they don't mean to hurt but the effect on someone who is already fragile from the roller coaster of emotions associated with this can be that they think maybe they have fallen short, maybe they don't believe enough or have enough faith. This is rubbish. I know I was there.
If you are reading this and you are one of those people who quotes scripture to women who struggle with infertility, please know that I understand your passion and faith and I know your aren't meaning to be hurtful. But please ask God to give you the silver tongue of redemption to speak what He has for you to speak at the moment. It may be the scriptures, but I would just ask that you ask Him to lead you in expressing your opinions with kindness and encouragement.
As for adoption, there are a lot of things to consider. The first, I believe, is if you are called to adopt. It is a calling. It's not easy as your family already knows.
I used to belong to some online groups that were very supportive and encouraging. I think I still have the addresses. One was a group of Christian women.
There are no easy answers and this is a difficult topic. I just want you to know that my heart understands your daughter's turmoil and I will pray for her in every area - physical, emotional, logistical, etc. ((( )))